Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vegetarian27

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Vegetarian27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2020
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Vegetarian27's page activity

Visits<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:31am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:54pm<b>SlashingAverV2</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:39pm<b>baseballbv</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:53pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:46am<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:13pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:11am<b>KarlwithaK91</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:57pm<b>ned2392</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:14pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:58pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:58pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:31pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:42am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm<b>maxii290594</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:48am<b>jbond97</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:39pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:26pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:20am

Vegetarian27's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Vegetarian27's badges

Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (8630)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (7752)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47912) - you deserved it (9537)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48307) - you deserved it (5908)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (39473)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17242) - you deserved it (54790)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (7211)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43934) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50944) - you deserved it (5068)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (37952)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (7224)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48344) - you deserved it (9513)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (21600)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (3807)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: