Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vegetarian27

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

Vegetarian27

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2799
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Vegetarian27's page activity

Visits<b>josh2014</b> - 8 hours ago<b>DougK76</b> - 22 hours ago<b>martin8337</b> - yesterday at 6:44am<b>fml85483</b> - yesterday at 6:28am<b>wysteria14</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:29am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:36am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:17am<b>Ghost_wolf</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>potnooodle</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 3:52pm<b>sisas</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:11am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 4:35am<b>Crossing</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:00pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:03am<b>GGregoire</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:25am<b>gantoman</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:48pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:36pm<b>abdullahcakeman</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:14am

Vegetarian27's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of Vegetarian27's badges

Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16134) - you deserved it (60958)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (1853)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (31549)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (5776)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37236) - you deserved it (12402)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1716)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (6938)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (1909)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (9023)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (11895)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27207) - you deserved it (2531)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (28391)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: