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Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs
Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML
by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…