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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
The Thumb strikes back
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (1839)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (32073)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39594) - you deserved it (3012)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34899) - you deserved it (2819)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (6732)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41928) - you deserved it (2776)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (9432)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (4918)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (6463)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55793) - you deserved it (4772)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45565) - you deserved it (3695)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44167) - you deserved it (6077)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53770) - you deserved it (7638)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (94585)
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (5782)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Friday 24 May 2013
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