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Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs
Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2015 at 10:20am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by notyourfriend / 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Geek
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
by MLeguillon / 09/01/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML
by WTF, guys? / 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (California) / Holidays
- Today, is a month into my new job. Three employees have already been fired, my boss has interviewed… Today, marks the third week after getting my braces, and yet I still can't eat any solid foods. My… Today, I went to the bank to cash my check. As I'm waiting for the teller I decide to go ahead and…