Vasir

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Vasir

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 96420
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vasir : "Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil."
"those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves"

Vasir's page activity

Visits<b>ItsUhUnicorn</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Sansational_</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:43am<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:25pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 1:24am<b>pixierara</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 7:16pm<b>ThatOtherPug</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:59pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 8:07am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:02am<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:13am<b>Baron_Kaz</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 7:19pm<b>sarika</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:59am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 12:47am<b>chronicB</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 12:23am<b>storm_silver</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:32am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:52pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:35pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:51pm

Vasir's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Vasir's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

by kitkat545 / 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 7:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

by Bes / 06/14/2009 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2009 at 2:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

by Paco4242 / 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

by chuchie / 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

by sluttydancer / 06/10/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML

by layout / 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

by anon / 06/04/2009 at 7:35am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

by Unluggee / 06/04/2009 at 6:38am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous