About Vasir : "Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil."
"those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves"
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Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (8378)
On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (1877)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (49855)
On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72604) - you deserved it (10080)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (52435)
On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (61477)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (7841)
On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (4426)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (13135)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10102) - you deserved it (57703)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you deserved it (5039)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (47236)
On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52223) - you deserved it (20567)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (12102)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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