About Vasir : "Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil."
"those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves"
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (2365)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47802) - you deserved it (6276)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13795) - you deserved it (54804)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (51740)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66934) - you deserved it (4663)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (2245)
On 07/22/2009 at 8:17am - work - by babysitter93 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51619) - you deserved it (2507)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62298) - you deserved it (2491)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:43am - love - by mylifereallyISeffed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (7949)
On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (19205)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58104) - you deserved it (3217)
On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (84993)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (5007)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (6878)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (4362)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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