About Vasir : "Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil."
"those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves"
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the women's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38348) - you deserved it (3199)
On 04/25/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by GreenMonstR (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (45645)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (2073)
On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53461) - you deserved it (6540)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15333) - you deserved it (56808)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75086)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (23312)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (18334)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38946) - you deserved it (5829)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a $1.09 burrito from taco bell with my debit card, unfortunately my overdraft fee was $25. I spent $26.01 on a burrito. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (44124)
On 04/20/2009 at 9:20pm - money - by anon. (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (51095)
On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (3234)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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