About Vasir : "Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil."
"those who have come here to hate should leave now, for in their hatred they only betray themselves"
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you deserved it (23461)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (1580)
On 11/21/2009 at 12:03am - work - by beckbm23 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50311) - you deserved it (2659)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3067) - you deserved it (48270)
On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (3875)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (37876)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5046) - you deserved it (42157)
On 10/27/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by SummerTime98 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4087) - you deserved it (106775)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6527) - you deserved it (29497)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (4092)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by Ndanick1193 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (38856)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (23949)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5112) - you deserved it (81879)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8111) - you deserved it (42292)
On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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