Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VannahJane

Search for a member

VannahJane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1339
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About VannahJane : Quit stalking me; ) cause i can see when you do; )

But since you decided to anyway, im Vannah a southern girl from tennessee. Im 5ft4.. Im blunt and honest but mean so nicely. I like dogs, shopping, reading (book nerd), sushi, and bonfires. I listen to music pretty much all day whether im in class or even at home just chillen. I have 11 piercings (keep your head outta the gutter, they are all appropriate), my favorite color is pink. I love watching movies especially with hot guys.. I like scary movies but only with good company.. Im more book smart then common sense.. However I dont always have good spelling but i know the difference between your and youre

I dont like snobby or know it all people. Overly optimistic people annoy me. I hate narcissistic people who relate everything back to them. Do not use words like 'retarded.'Green peas and butter beans are nasty! Clowns are frightening and bugs creep me out The color pink does not look good on me.
Well message me if you dare:)

VannahJane's page activity

Visits<b>CarmalitaMarie</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:39am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:11pm<b>shaboooopi</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:58am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:36am<b>StupidlyCute</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:31am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:20pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:07pm<b>aseim9497</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:18pm<b>CerSpence</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:19am<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:25pm<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:56am<b>brittany310</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:49pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Nattie12</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Wickedike12</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 4:38pm<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:44pm<b>marktothebowler</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:38pm

VannahJane's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of VannahJane's badges

VannahJane's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51385) - you deserved it (10582)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62228) - you deserved it (13941)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (9309)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (15694)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54792) - you deserved it (14393)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47118) - you deserved it (5510)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39713) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (7269)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36554) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46417) - you deserved it (7933)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: