About Vanillanougat : Hello there, we should get to know eachother.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Vanillanougat's favorite FMLs
by Applejacks18 / 06/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Montana) / Health
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML
by cupcakechick / 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
by speechless / 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Money
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Jololol / 05/17/2013 at 5:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
by blondie107 / 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Alone / 05/06/2013 at 10:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by emma_waters23 / 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…