About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (5352)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (761)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States
Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2379)
On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (2211)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:58am - misc - by ohhhjaymo13 - United States
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (3419)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (1932)
On 01/24/2011 at 3:01am - health - by l0stnwundrland - United States
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (2495)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:21am - kids - by notapedobear -
Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5116) - you deserved it (34824)
On 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (6491)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10122) - you deserved it (18721)
On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10122) - you deserved it (18721)
On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10122) - you deserved it (18721)
On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43452) - you deserved it (3142)
On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
