Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Offline (the 08/08/2014 at 2:27pm) | Search for a member

Vamphyre73

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1973 (40 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3248
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's page activity

Visits<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Saub</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:35am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:46am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:20pm<b>BEASTSLAYER2474</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:36pm<b>windell</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:15pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:18am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:58am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:21pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>hannah213</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:34am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:48am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:52am<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:30am

Vamphyre73's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (42800)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (2820)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (6003)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (8165)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (12838)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (5349)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2413)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (2281)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (2015)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (5254)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (2509)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: