Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Search for a member

Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : collingwood, canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1973 (40 years)
  • Number of visits : 2311
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's last visitors

LilTiki559TrackGirl19windellshivamtrivediKyuzomiDementedOtakuTheImaginarySongChenEightyhannah213sarcasticloverTEZZ

Vamphyre73's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you deserved it (1830)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16171) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

#20076675
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (2180)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (2359)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (1792)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (6383)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (10109)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1957)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (1643)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13131) - you deserved it (34868)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (7493)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: