Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Online | Search for a member

Vamphyre73

0Fucked!

Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6676
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. Thanks for visiting!
^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's page activity

Visits<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Saub</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:35am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:46am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:20pm<b>BEASTSLAYER2474</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:36pm<b>windell</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:15pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:18am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:58am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:21pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>hannah213</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:34am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:48am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:52am<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:30am

Vamphyre73's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62452) - you deserved it (9242)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (65602)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (18636)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61179) - you deserved it (7296)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47728) - you deserved it (3547)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46098) - you deserved it (9015)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42712) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51915) - you deserved it (5953)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

#20685944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (4554)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

#20683433
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (41910)

On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44373) - you deserved it (2620)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: