About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (3109)
On 09/25/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Eric Moore - United States (Texas)
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (28466)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (28466)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (2117)
On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28082) - you deserved it (11931)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (4243)
On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (3934)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (10129)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (4615)
On 08/17/2011 at 2:19am - love - by CashChamp20 - United States
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (6958)
On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (10212)
On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)
Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (1885)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (2819)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (36946)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
