Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Search for a member

Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : collingwood, canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1973 (40 years)
  • Number of visits : 2306
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's last visitors

LilTiki559TrackGirl19windellshivamtrivediKyuzomiDementedOtakuTheImaginarySongChenEightyhannah213sarcasticloverTEZZ

Vamphyre73's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

#15910570
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (6080)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML

#15881696
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (2510)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:53am - love - by AngryBirdman -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6695) - you deserved it (35360)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

#15881226
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (19758)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:08am - intimacy - by HotACE -

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (2786)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (5921)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (10136)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (13068)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

#15565101
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31040) - you deserved it (6892)

On 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML

#15560826
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by Alisha (woman) - United Kingdom (Stirling)

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

#15501357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48154) - you deserved it (9976)

On 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (47498)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

#15176511
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13242) - you deserved it (28699)

On 03/02/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

#15131061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30245) - you deserved it (6650)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by sweet2u22 (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: