Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Vamphyre73

0Fucked!

Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 November 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6803
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. Thanks for visiting!
^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's page activity

Visits<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Saub</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:35am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:46am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:19pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 5:20pm<b>BEASTSLAYER2474</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 8:04pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:36pm<b>windell</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:15pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 8:18am<b>Kyuzomi</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 8:58am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 9:07pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:21pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:31pm<b>hannah213</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 12:34am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:48am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:52am<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:30am

Vamphyre73's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (3137)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (18057)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (8569)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

#17754164
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (5689)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm - misc - by Frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (5473)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (11535)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50987) - you deserved it (6038)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML

#17649932
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:33am - health - by whatdidIdo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML

#17496847
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (6541)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:19am - love - by CashChamp20 - United States

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (9784)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (15330)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (2914)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12830) - you deserved it (53576)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36970) - you deserved it (7629)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: