Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Vamphyre73

Search for a member

Vamphyre73
  • Town/Country : collingwood, canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 November 1973 (40 years)
  • Number of visits : 2294
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Vamphyre73 : I am weird, and will rarely comment, only if I think I should get in on an arguement of something I have experience with. I love messages so feel free, although I mostly use my iPod so may not respond. For anyone who actually looked at my profile I am actually only 17, and that will probably automatically make me seem immature and simple-minded to you. But I'll try not to be, stalker ^ ~ ^

Vamphyre73's last visitors

LilTiki559TrackGirl19windellshivamtrivediKyuzomiDementedOtakuTheImaginarySongChenEightyhannah213sarcasticloverTEZZ

Vamphyre73's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Vamphyre73's badges

Vamphyre73's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48496)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (5191)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

#16774527
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (4159)

On 06/21/2011 at 1:07am - love - by played (man) - Norway

Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML

#16661429
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (5227)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12516) - you deserved it (45854)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49468) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

#16576364
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/09/2011 at 10:25am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (47316)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (39209)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (14023)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31368) - you deserved it (8930)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

#16099797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/09/2011 at 12:03am - love - by Just_do_it_17 (woman) - United States

Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML

#15985252
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (4475)

On 04/30/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by me - United States

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: