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Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML
I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you totally deserved it (817)
On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)
Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I am now 20 minutes late for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you totally deserved it (1583)
On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4037) - you totally deserved it (19548)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you totally deserved it (3014)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you totally deserved it (4343)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61679) - you totally deserved it (3609)
On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I couldn't answer almost everyone question in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9400) - you totally deserved it (35542)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you totally deserved it (934)
On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10828) - you totally deserved it (4013)
On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)
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