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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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VSOLORIO

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VSOLORIO
  • Town/Country : Portland, Oregon, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3797
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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VSOLORIO's FML badges

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VSOLORIO's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (3190)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (9450)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (51675)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (13710) - you deserved it (1732)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2593)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML

#15658999 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (1382)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:26pm - money - by Username -

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300 (468)

I agree, your life sucks (57466) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260 (745)

I agree, your life sucks (58477) - you deserved it (10923)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (14618) - you deserved it (44623)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said 'I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years, grow the f*** up, dumbass.' FML

#15356314 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (13168) - you deserved it (61672)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

#13623342 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (14514) - you deserved it (3442)

On 10/28/2010 at 2:39am - animals - by katie06 - United States

Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML

#13622060 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (2110)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)