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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Uvula

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Uvula
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 495
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Uvula's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (41191)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (5017)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML

#3743203 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (4814) - you deserved it (49941)

On 07/14/2009 at 11:27am - work - by captainfail (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (4661) - you deserved it (36511)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML

#3641578 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (13399)

On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (46365)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (45661) - you deserved it (1826)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (2887)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (11457) - you deserved it (36198)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54367) - you deserved it (1592)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML

#3152991 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (33475)

On 06/23/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by cmac1229 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020 (29)

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (1464)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version