UserFingName

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UserFingName

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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UserFingName's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

by muffincakess / 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

by nude / 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

by Arsinoe / 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

by fml / 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous