Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UsagiArwen

Offline (the 10/25/2015 at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

UsagiArwen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3088
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About UsagiArwen : Love cats and music. Love gaming on the Playstation Network!

UsagiArwen's page activity

Visits<b>max219</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:04pm<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:04pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:54pm<b>felipe2342</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:37am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:35am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:25pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:37pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:07am<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:26am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:25am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:17am<b>saidoh</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:57pm<b>YouKnowIMeantMe_</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:16am<b>jenny919</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:37pm<b>CplLawrence</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:34pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:19am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:56am

Fucked!<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:04pm

UsagiArwen's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of UsagiArwen's badges

UsagiArwen's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (3639)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (55116)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (2520)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (59581)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51820) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52122) - you deserved it (2464)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (47454)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9073) - you deserved it (77404)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2541)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (3376)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (3651)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: