Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UsagiArwen

Offline (the 10/25/2015 at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

UsagiArwen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3090
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About UsagiArwen : Love cats and music. Love gaming on the Playstation Network!

UsagiArwen's page activity

Visits<b>max219</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:04pm<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:04pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:54pm<b>felipe2342</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:37am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:35am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:25pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:37pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:07am<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:26am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:25am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:17am<b>saidoh</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:57pm<b>YouKnowIMeantMe_</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:16am<b>jenny919</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:37pm<b>CplLawrence</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:34pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:19am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:56am

Fucked!<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:04pm

UsagiArwen's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of UsagiArwen's badges

UsagiArwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (3462)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (5322)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (9930)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (59117)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

#21067356
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49877) - you deserved it (3978)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46986) - you deserved it (4988)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54462) - you deserved it (3609)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43891) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (4065)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (7249)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46310) - you deserved it (9235)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: