Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UsagiArwen

Offline (the 10/25/2015 at 9:51pm) | Search for a member

UsagiArwen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3095
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About UsagiArwen : Love cats and music. Love gaming on the Playstation Network!

UsagiArwen's page activity

Visits<b>max219</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:04pm<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:04pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:54pm<b>felipe2342</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:37am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:35am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:25pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 11:37pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:07am<b>Ins0mau</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:26am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:25am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:17am<b>saidoh</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 1:57pm<b>YouKnowIMeantMe_</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 1:16am<b>jenny919</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:37pm<b>CplLawrence</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:34pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:19am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:56am

Fucked!<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:04pm

UsagiArwen's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of UsagiArwen's badges

UsagiArwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

#21419654
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25685) - you deserved it (5213)

On 06/02/2015 at 11:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (6533)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60171) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (3121)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (4193)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54538) - you deserved it (3001)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50848) - you deserved it (7645)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: