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UsagiArwen

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UsagiArwen
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 September 1985 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 658
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About UsagiArwen : Love cats and music. Love gaming on the Playstation Network!

UsagiArwen's last visitors

crackmore278Marlon8ask8_kingNoorFMLkillers11189linds3yGabrielleFrance

UsagiArwen's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of UsagiArwen's badges

UsagiArwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (3854)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (2688)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (1047)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (7095)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9404) - you deserved it (16011)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14497) - you deserved it (5409) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (1374)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7717) - you deserved it (26995)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2884)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (4830)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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