Hi, Bye
Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you totally deserved it (2436)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you totally deserved it (2125)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you totally deserved it (1130)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you totally deserved it (42970)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you totally deserved it (55823)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44488) - you totally deserved it (2235)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you totally deserved it (6770)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you totally deserved it (2312)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you totally deserved it (53346)
On 08/18/2009 at 4:04am - misc - by probably_the_ex_now (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you totally deserved it (10099)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6055) - you totally deserved it (43758)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Service was spelled wrong and when I looked it up, error message 3265 does not exist. FML
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On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you totally deserved it (10382)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
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On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
