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UnwoundMars

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UnwoundMars

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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UnwoundMars's page activity

Visits<b>Evolving_Squid</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Tviruszombie</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Viast</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 4:38am<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 5:44am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:13pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 1:50pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:50pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:38pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:37am

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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UnwoundMars's favorite FMLs

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

#20716126
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34678) - you deserved it (8402)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (5542)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76679) - you deserved it (3650)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60818) - you deserved it (7619)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42334) - you deserved it (4875)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72594) - you deserved it (5800)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52231) - you deserved it (6700)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (3254)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (5871)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (3371)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49889) - you deserved it (7000)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (8036)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (2757)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48393) - you deserved it (4425)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States



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