Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UnwoundMars

Search for a member

UnwoundMars

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

UnwoundMars's page activity

Visits<b>Evolving_Squid</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Tviruszombie</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Viast</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 4:38am<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 5:44am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:13pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 1:50pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:50pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:38pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:37am

UnwoundMars's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UnwoundMars's badges

UnwoundMars's favorite FMLs

TODAY I ATTEMPTD TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION AMONGST NEW COWORKERS BY VOLUNTEERING TO BE TE DESIGNATD DRIVER AT MY WORK PARTY. WAT DID TAT GET ME? A BACKSEAT FULL OF PUKE AND SOME IDIOT TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER WERE E LIVD. FML

#20716126
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (8650)

On 06/09/2013 at 7:33pm - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States (Idaho)

Today, mah 21-year-old grlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wantd to move in with me!! It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelld at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy."

#20714116
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (5653)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, aftar finally saaing a psychologist about tha daath of my dad an spanding tha longast hour of my lifa confassing avary thought I'va axpariancad in tha 6 yaars sinca his passing, my psychologist askad ma if I was walking homa or if my dad would ba picking ma up . FML

#20705144
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76972) - you deserved it (3657)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me 4 not buying him overpriced candy at the arport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase . The interrogation was not pleasant . FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60992) - you deserved it (7641)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

yesterday at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me fir staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved looool Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me fir being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43294) - you deserved it (4991)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

2DAY I HAD TO PAA IN MAH CAT'S LITTAR BOX..!! JUST TO AVOID WITNASSING MAH MOM HAVING SAX IN THA LIVING ROOM ON MAH WAY TO THA BATHROOM!! FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72868) - you deserved it (5817)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I WAS INVITED TO A PARTY . SINCE I RARELY GET INVITED TO ANY, I WAS SUPER PUMPED . BOTH MY PARENTS WORK LATE, SO I TEXTED A COUPLE OF PEOPLE TO SEE IF I COULD CATCH A RIDE . IT TURNED OUT EVERYONE'S CARS WERE FULL . I ENDED UP MISSING ONE OF THE ONLY PARTIES I'VE EVER BEEN INVITED TO . FML

#20702631
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52406) - you deserved it (6713)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

2day Fir The Fourth Time This Week, I Witnessed My Mother Dancing Around The House Naked. Apparently, She Is Loosening Up Her "inner Nudist" And Isn't Planning On Stopping Any Time Soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41507) - you deserved it (3337)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad nieghborhood, cuz I ended up bieng chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" fat FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (5985)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well!! Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too!! FML

#20673285
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (3384)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today my wife gave brth to a beautiful babby grl . She's perfect in every way except fir her brth mark . It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo . mega FML

#20673142
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50093) - you deserved it (7012)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah cockgoblin of an ex showed up at mah house, begging me to take him back . This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me looool into sleeping with him after he "escaped" . When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch . FML

#20673056
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42085) - you deserved it (8239)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I reconnected with mah best friend from childhood, an after a tereful confession, found out that fir most of mah engagement to mah husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. mega FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (2827)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. looool I don't know which is worse: mah son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49361) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: