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UnwoundMars

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UnwoundMars

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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UnwoundMars's page activity

Visits<b>Evolving_Squid</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:38pm<b>Tviruszombie</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Viast</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 4:38am<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 5:44am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 2:13pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 1:50pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:50pm<b>Bubule</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:38pm<b>SerpentBoy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:37am

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UnwoundMars's favorite FMLs

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (4882)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (6197)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60172) - you deserved it (4376)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59279) - you deserved it (20926)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (3195)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43563) - you deserved it (4149)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46691) - you deserved it (18749)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64583) - you deserved it (5182)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18655) - you deserved it (58160)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (3126)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58497) - you deserved it (3809)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74074) - you deserved it (6758)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (7087)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States



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