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UndeadMongrel's FML badges
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UndeadMongrel's favorite FMLs
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
by paulwatson93 / 05/17/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML
by phant776 / 05/13/2011 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Transportation
by K. / 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by BCBUDDY / 05/07/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Florida) / Health
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy
Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML
by eringoBRA / 05/06/2011 at 10:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, I was craving a bean & cheese burrito. After trying to forget about burritos for half of the… Today, I went to donate blood, after I was about halfway through I felt extremely sick. I told the… Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday…