Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UndeadMongrel

Search for a member

UndeadMongrel
  • Town/Country : Calgary , Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1037
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

UndeadMongrel's last visitors

YogibobjaffvisIHATEFMYLIFEMornaiBestOfAllcrazycatbitchOnlyAvailableID

UndeadMongrel's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UndeadMongrel's badges

UndeadMongrel's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (4361)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (4052)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39068) - you deserved it (5894)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12343) - you deserved it (26090)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34536) - you deserved it (11899)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (3313)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40893) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (6587)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (7436)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (55287)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31327) - you deserved it (8033)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: