UndeadMongrel

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Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 6:49pm)

UndeadMongrel

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4367
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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UndeadMongrel's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:23am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:05pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:32am<b>54MU31</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:41pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:31pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:25pm<b>ellllea</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:46am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:01am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:00pm<b>meaganmb</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:52pm<b>BestOfAll</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 8:24pm<b>vantha</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:51am<b>crazycatbitch</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 10:17pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 3:49pm<b>JennaShock</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:25pm

Fucked!<b>dusthar</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:32pm

UndeadMongrel's FML badges

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UndeadMongrel's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

by yeah_im_mad_bro / 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

by jj4320 / 09/17/2011 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

by OperaLover / 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

by fashionista1787 / 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML

by Krystyn Gareau / 09/09/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

by stinky skunk / 09/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids