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UndeadMongrel

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UndeadMongrel
  • Town/Country : Calgary , Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 December 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1065
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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UndeadMongrel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3780) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51484) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (18006)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (24734)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21515) - you deserved it (50350)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (17835)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (14160)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17441) - you deserved it (2268)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10237) - you deserved it (35016)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (37898)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia



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