Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

UndeadMongrel

Search for a member

UndeadMongrel

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1855
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

UndeadMongrel's page activity

Visits<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:31pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:25pm<b>ellllea</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 12:46am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:01am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:00pm<b>meaganmb</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:52pm<b>BestOfAll</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 8:24pm<b>vantha</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 10:51am<b>crazycatbitch</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 10:17pm<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 3:49pm<b>JennaShock</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:25pm

UndeadMongrel's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of UndeadMongrel's badges

UndeadMongrel's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67286) - you deserved it (9923)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60631) - you deserved it (20251)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49525) - you deserved it (24489)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56157) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (3703)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46558) - you deserved it (7053) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (3327)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75089) - you deserved it (8791)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20200) - you deserved it (6925)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (8931)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (12393)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (4007)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (3307)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: