Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ukeee_X

Search for a member

Ukeee_X

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5344
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About Ukeee_X : I'm Emma and stuff.
I have very particular views on a few matters, yet open minded on the whole.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download for three years on the trot, and I plan on going to Vietnam soon.
I'm also part of a subculture that's recently hit the limelight by a terribly written book that was based off of a Twilight fan fiction. It isn't an accurate portrayal of this lifestyle either.

Yes my photo was taken in the bath. Don't ask why. It's an inside joke between friends, and I ended up liking this one.

Always up for an interesting chat. :)

Ukeee_X's page activity

Visits<b>nephilim241</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:40am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:45pm<b>TH3PRIC3I5RIGHT</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:21am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:05pm<b>aaron44</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:52pm<b>cloudygirl5</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>42LifeUniverse</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:10pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:30pm<b>josh1310</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:13pm<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:19am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:49am<b>last_kings84</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:38pm<b>guskta</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:24am<b>drummer1017</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:56pm<b>alexfbrz</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:02pm

Liked!<b>josh1310</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:21am

Ukeee_X's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ukeee_X's badges

Ukeee_X's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55664) - you deserved it (8314)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53531) - you deserved it (8515)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52867) - you deserved it (3201)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62456) - you deserved it (5423)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

#20804154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (3252)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44662) - you deserved it (14736)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (8825)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52419) - you deserved it (4062)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45228) - you deserved it (3035)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

#20797503
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (3225)

On 07/22/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42606) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41735) - you deserved it (9026)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54679) - you deserved it (17038)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: