About Ukeee_X : Hello i'm Emma and I have been enjoying FML's some time now -- yet i've only recently got my ass around to join!
I have very particular views, yet open minded.
I'm not great at biographies, but I can say I've been to Download Festival '11, '12 and I'm going 2013!
Feel free to talk to me :)
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (4790)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (4188)
On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (2267)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (4174)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (19750)
On 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm - money - by InconsiderateMuch (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41275) - you deserved it (6242)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58810) - you deserved it (5770)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (2778)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49580) - you deserved it (2260)
On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (40584)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (3817)
On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (3577)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51973) - you deserved it (8955)
On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (7337)
On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (50780) - you deserved it (6923)
On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Monday 17 June 2013
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