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Offline (the 09/27/2016 at 2:48am)



  • Town/Country : Sandton, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 February 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 559
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About UbuntuElphie : Just a humble, queer, white boy in Darkest Africa

UbuntuElphie's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:13pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 6:30pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 11:06am<b>KyleThomas</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:02pm<b>bored359</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:54pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:57pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:27pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:15pm<b>KylieMangion</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:53am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:45am<b>kinky44</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 7:11pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:22am<b>MiachelaAnn</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:54pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:42pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:02pm

UbuntuElphie's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of UbuntuElphie's badges

UbuntuElphie's favorite FMLs

Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2016 at 3:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

by ItsFunnyNow / 10/22/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

by AlexK / 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

by Marco / 10/13/2008 at 4:29am / Money