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TylerBurden's FML badges
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TylerBurden's favorite FMLs
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML
by dumbfriend / 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
by Tom Ali / 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
by stinkypants / 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm / India / Health
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
by Ashley / 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…