TylerBurden

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TylerBurden

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2347
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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TylerBurden's page activity

Visits<b>mitch2161998</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:46pm<b>amer9298</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:14am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:22pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 2:13am<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:26pm<b>Grimmerie</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:26am<b>Starksrule</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:53am<b>PixelKat</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:49am<b>valxx92</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:20am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:54am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>Qindee</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:19am<b>Nubbington1402</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:15pm<b>gwyneth_jade</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:11am<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:46am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:57am<b>tori3700</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:21pm

Fucked!<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 8:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:21pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34pm

TylerBurden's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TylerBurden's badges

TylerBurden's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

by poopy pants / 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

by marcymoo / 03/11/2013 at 12:09am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

by Kat / 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy