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TylerBurden

Offline (the 12/11/2014 at 10:16am) | Search for a member

TylerBurden

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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TylerBurden's page activity

Visits<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:46am<b>gunzerker</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 7:50am<b>Sudoc</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:41pm<b>empsparks02</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:29pm<b>ejkst19</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:33am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:46pm<b>pondhop</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:56pm<b>reject_nation</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 9:29am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:15am<b>fsomelife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:13am<b>MzDisturbedOne</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:07am<b>Hijacker101</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:50am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:51am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:18pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:46pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:53pm<b>RedneckWeaver</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:04am

TylerBurden's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of TylerBurden's badges

TylerBurden's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (5439)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (48822)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38652) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (2481)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (6002)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (3573)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (8592)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (3513)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (18451)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (61035)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (4892)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25162) - you deserved it (2014)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (4201)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (36482)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8914) - you deserved it (53397)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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