Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TylerBurden

Offline (yesterday at 12:49pm) | Search for a member

TylerBurden

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1748
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TylerBurden's page activity

Visits<b>gwyneth_jade</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:11am<b>Cherryheart</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:46am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:57am<b>tori3700</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Florentina</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:03pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:15am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:38pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:45am<b>BntyHntrSeattle</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:36am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:34am<b>EKDH</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:18am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:34am<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:09am<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:31am<b>MeAnd</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:42am<b>df21312</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:36pm<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:46am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34pm

TylerBurden's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of TylerBurden's badges

TylerBurden's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (7816)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46595) - you deserved it (3482)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42191) - you deserved it (4620)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (8377)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (11381)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57394) - you deserved it (15010)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49998) - you deserved it (4709)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63542) - you deserved it (14279)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57000) - you deserved it (12768)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83163) - you deserved it (4349)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

#20616232
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70901) - you deserved it (9353)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47352) - you deserved it (3046)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (8169)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (8229)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: