Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TwitchingNebula

Search for a member

TwitchingNebula

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1708
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About TwitchingNebula : I am a troll.

You are a stalker.
We can't all be winners.

As a side note, don't you guys think you're getting a little big brother ish with that?

TwitchingNebula's page activity

Visits<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:40pm<b>amandam21</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:39am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:28am<b>Korohi</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:29am<b>bellenblaasbaas</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 3:31pm<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 5:35am<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:33am<b>patchesOhoolihan</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:07pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:50pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 1:17pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:45am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 8:29pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 2:35pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 3:11am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:45pm<b>TheEliteShark69</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 5:04pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 2:38am

TwitchingNebula's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TwitchingNebula's badges

TwitchingNebula's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44776) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (15564)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (5062)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (4169)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19863) - you deserved it (43625)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36868) - you deserved it (6951)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13002) - you deserved it (31846)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (9950)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (11460)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (11668)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

#17679338
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (47607)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:17am - misc - by ss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (37844)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

#17481344
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12666) - you deserved it (33869)

On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: