About TwitchingNebula : I am a troll.
You are a stalker.
We can't all be winners.
As a side note, don't you guys think you're getting a little big brother ish with that?
About TwitchingNebula : I am a troll.
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TwitchingNebula's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love
Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML
by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by gmd05 / 07/31/2012 at 10:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML
by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by HorcruxDelight73 / 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML
by Cam / 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
by UnderConstruction / 05/04/2012 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
by AngryLittleMan / 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm / United States / Transportation
Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML
by Winx / 03/16/2012 at 3:13am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML
by nosymptoms / 02/09/2012 at 7:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I got dumped for the second time by the guy that I'd been seeing. He actually forgot that… 3Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him,…