About TwitchingNebula : I am a troll.
You are a stalker.
We can't all be winners.
As a side note, don't you guys think you're getting a little big brother ish with that?
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Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (3096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (1743)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (2736)
On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (5796)
On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States
Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (1076)
On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11406) - you deserved it (12932)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (2125)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17961) - you deserved it (1275)
On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)
Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2084)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3735) - you deserved it (20693)
On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12455) - you deserved it (15232)
On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (7936) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (32399)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (3116)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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