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About Tuxedo_Mask : I think that this is stupid. Not the website, the 'about you' section. I find that this should ba anonymous, shall it not? If I do post a FML, I need not the attention from one of the many FML readers I know. But, alas, that is just one girls opinion.
"I wish I didn't believe that wishes only lead to false-hope and disapoinment. . ."
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up . It was the best orgasm I'd ever had . The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy . It was about bacon . FML
Today I decided I would eat healthy in order to loose weight. Feeling powerful I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
I Was Kneeling Down At Work To Do Some Cleaning. My Co-worker Said, "Oh Don't Yur Knees Hurt, Kneeling Lyk That 4 So Long?" Without Thinking How It Sounded, I Said, "Oh No, It's Not A Problem. I'm On My Knees All The Time." He's Yet To Stop Hitting On Me. FML
Today, my family was preparing a turkey fir my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked wat it was for . My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together . My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe u should get one fir yur daughter." mega FML
Today , mah 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh , so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and lockd the door. I inadvertently taught mah little brother how to masturbate. FML
I WAS GETTING READY FIR BED,HEN I DECIDED TO WATCH SOME PORNO ON THE COMPUTER. SUDDENLY SOMEONE FROM MAH MESSENGER LIST SAYS, "YOU MIGHT WANT TO TURN OFF THE 'WHAT YOU'RE LISTENING TO' OPTION IF YOUR WATCHING PORN." I SNAPPED AND EXITED THE PORN. 63 PEOPLE SAW. FML
2day I woke up to go to school . looool I was unbelievably tired , but I gathered the courage to go take my shower . I then took a long shower , cleaned up my room , got dressed , an ate breakfast . Going back to my room , I looked at the clock , which read 3:22 AM . FML
Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince mah mom trampolines r safe an I should get one. While telling her I smashd mah knee into mah face. I jumpd off bleeding, slippd, hit mah head on the trampoline, an got knockd unconscious. FML
Today , I Was Driving Home From School,hen I Saw This Girl I Like Walking Home!! Trying To Be Polite , I Pulled Over And Asked If She Wanted A Ride!! After My Offer , I Was Rejected As She Said "No , I'm Actually Already Home," And Walked Up The Nearest Driveway..!! MY Driveway!! FML
Today , mah grlfriend and looool I were watching TV. She starts to undo mah belt buckle , unzips mah fly and then takes mah pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited , she says to me , ( Just joking. ) FML
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on mah laptop!! I unpaused to find mah character and mah boyfriend's were no longer together!! Slightly confused, I went on to find the note mah boyfriend left!! It said, "I hope u can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game!! FML
Today, brand naw cocktail drass: $300. Matching paap toa haals: $100. Gatting mah hair dona at tha salon: $80. Traating mysalf to a mani/padi: $50. Whan finally maating tha guy I hava baan chatting onlina with for 2 months, I fina out ha's mah cousin: pricalass. maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015