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Turtle_Man

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Turtle_Man

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2092
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Turtle_Man : Everything happens for a reason; for the lolz

Turtle_Man's page activity

Visits<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:45pm<b>BakedTaters</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:32pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:52am<b>igotds</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:43pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:05pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:50am<b>quinn1184</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:12am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:44pm<b>ktrejo79</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ziggaby</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:34pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:57pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>swegmuffin</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:55pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:11pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:43am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:41am

Fucked!<b>igotds</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:52am

Turtle_Man's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Turtle_Man's badges

Turtle_Man's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (3786)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (8639)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was standing on a step ladder to reach the batteries on top of my fridge so I could change the ones in my TV remote. My sister thought it would be funny to shake the ladder and see what would happen. I now have a broken leg and a TV remote with dead batteries in it. FML

#21442946
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (1749)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:40am - misc - by damnnn - Australia

Today, I witnessed the most awful park job ever. Without thinking, I found a piece of paper and wrote on the back, "Nice park, asshole". Turns out it was an old airline boarding pass, and my name, address and phone number were neatly displayed with the message. FML

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (22700)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (3564)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (4980)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (2394)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (1917)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2897)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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