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Turtle_Man

Offline (the 01/21/2015 at 9:30pm) | Search for a member

Turtle_Man

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Turtle_Man
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1229
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Turtle_Man : Mehh.
If you actually want to know, send a message.

Turtle_Man's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:11pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:43am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:41am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Wafflestomper</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 6:37pm

Turtle_Man's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Turtle_Man's badges

Turtle_Man's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26970) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (3995)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32776) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

#21322225
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (3992)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (4151)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16398) - you deserved it (25219)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (5308)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (4295)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (3674)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45400) - you deserved it (11749)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (7511)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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