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Turtle_Man

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 7:29am) | Search for a member

Turtle_Man

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1749
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Turtle_Man : Everything happens for a reason; for the lolz

Turtle_Man's page activity

Visits<b>igotds</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:43pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:05pm<b>sam882</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:34am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:50am<b>quinn1184</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:12am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:08am<b>ktrejo79</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ziggaby</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:34pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:57pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>swegmuffin</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:55pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:11pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:43am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:41am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:52pm

Fucked!<b>igotds</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:52am

Turtle_Man's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Turtle_Man's badges

Turtle_Man's favorite FMLs

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (2353)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (1822)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32069) - you deserved it (4712)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
101 comments

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (2677)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27812) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36944) - you deserved it (2231)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2542)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (19576)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (7160)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29) - you deserved it (76)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML



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