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Turtle_Man

Offline (the 03/13/2015 at 9:48pm) | Search for a member

Turtle_Man

1Liked!

Turtle_Man
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1622
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Turtle_Man : Everything happens for a reason; for the lolz

Turtle_Man's page activity

Visits<b>sam882</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:27pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:50am<b>quinn1184</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:12am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:08am<b>ktrejo79</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ziggaby</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:46pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 7:34pm<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:57pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>swegmuffin</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:55pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:11pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:43am<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:41am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Wafflestomper</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 6:37pm

Liked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:52am

Turtle_Man's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Turtle_Man's badges

Turtle_Man's favorite FMLs

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (2539)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (19270)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (6747)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (33008)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (35535)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (33873)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

#21352091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (2608)

On 02/08/2015 at 1:28pm - misc - by sorry :/ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47137) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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