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Turtle_Man

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 7:45pm) | Search for a member

Turtle_Man

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Turtle_Man
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1114
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Turtle_Man : Mehh.
If you actually want to know, send a message.

Turtle_Man's page activity

Visits<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Wafflestomper</b> - the 09/14/2012 at 6:37pm

Turtle_Man's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Turtle_Man's badges

Turtle_Man's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14915) - you deserved it (23054)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28972) - you deserved it (4267)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (3657)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (10613)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (4221)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML

#21307360
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (2668)

On 11/28/2014 at 3:00am - misc - by stampslife - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3252)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

#21286665
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:00pm - health - by Discipl (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49022) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (4121)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (4611)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States



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