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TurboKill1

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TurboKill1
  • Town/Country : Oakland, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 3425
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TurboKill1 : I come here so I can feel better about myself.

TurboKill1's last visitors

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TurboKill1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

#2376689
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62848) - you deserved it (5477)

On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140401) - you deserved it (20543)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227287) - you deserved it (29243)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116272) - you deserved it (34182)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59850) - you deserved it (18352)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (66928)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML

#170541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51377) - you deserved it (1630)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Friendly (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52075) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75517) - you deserved it (4481)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48326) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57400) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (2252)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)



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