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Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45355) - you deserved it (6401)
On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (3612)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (65192)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (19743)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm - love - by spitballer1 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72401) - you deserved it (3163)
On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (53969)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (51231)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97025) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (7573)
On 05/11/2009 at 8:38am - animals - by prevostsrocklike - United States (Tennessee)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100938) - you deserved it (3612)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (84950)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you deserved it (383428)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53394) - you deserved it (586297)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (15115)
On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
I agree, your life sucks (86054) - you deserved it (10948)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -
Friday 24 May 2013
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