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Today I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you totally deserved it (582)
On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you totally deserved it (2834)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you totally deserved it (733)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4530) - you totally deserved it (44965)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you totally deserved it (4158)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you totally deserved it (2847)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you totally deserved it (2880)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the man that has been stalking me for months finally stopped. When I went to the police station to tell them, they had me give them his number, I accidentaly called him, now he is stalking me again, asking why I called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you totally deserved it (21402)
On 10/03/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Stalked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you totally deserved it (1695) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you totally deserved it (4281)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14467) - you totally deserved it (3209)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67970) - you totally deserved it (4604)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2396) - you totally deserved it (8757)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you totally deserved it (2468)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my little sister recieved a fairy costume from my aunt. She put it on and waves her wand at me. She said,"Abra cadabra bibbity poo. I wish Sydney was pretty." When I did nothing, she put her hands on her hips and says,"Cant you just act pretty?" FML
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On 08/26/2009 at 4:31pm - kids - by yummolives (woman) - United States (Florida)
