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About Tristan : -_-
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (12287)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (7628)
On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at a strangers house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3326) - you deserved it (27700)
On 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by jagerbombs (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9560) - you deserved it (24399)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69253) - you deserved it (23223)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (31608)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (14992)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (128874) - you deserved it (9154)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)
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