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Offline (the 12/23/2014 at 8:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1321
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Transfusion's page activity

Visits<b>WJM505</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:45pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:33am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:35am<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:18pm<b>madampresident</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:08pm<b>JACK_QUII</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 2:47am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:12pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:35am<b>james71993</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:39pm<b>bobslawnservice</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:43pm<b>MakeTodayADTR</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:03pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:23am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 6:22am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 10:47pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:27pm<b>revan546</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:40am<b>michelle0140</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 6:07pm<b>majamadness</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:18am

Transfusion's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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See all of Transfusion's badges

Transfusion's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy