About Toxictears : outgoing..like to party..addicted to tatts..
Toxictears's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Toxictears's favorite FMLs
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML
by Someguy / 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Love
by Cxisbest / 03/23/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML
by SMRT / 01/13/2010 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
by awkward23 / 01/12/2010 at 5:26am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML
by frapples1 / 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
by mvgirl / 10/22/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
by uneek_3225 / 10/22/2009 at 1:53am / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
by moresexperience / 09/11/2009 at 8:26am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML
by aw-wtf / 08/11/2009 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML
by goin4broke / 08/07/2009 at 11:23am / United States (West Virginia) / Money